Sunday, June 1, 2008

I reaLLy doN't wanT tO Let gO~BuT....

yahh...i got the offer from NUS (National University of Singapore) for my dream course -- ARCHITECTURE.
You won't know how joyful I was when I knew it.
I don't know why,but I do have big passion in it...
I like it so much...I don't know how to express it in words
Last time, this course was really just a dream...a simple dream deep inside my heart...
I never know that one day I can get the offer successfully~ some more is from NUS, my dream university too ... the ideal university of many people too i guess...
now I've got the chance to get so close to my dream
but...god seems kidding with me~ ???
my parents don't allow me to go there~with the excuse of financial problem
trying hard to persuade them...have been talking with them many times~but they never think of changing their mind although just for one second
I'm not that kind of people who is good in speaking, whose words can convince people...
I'm not good in expressing myself at all...for that, I always hope that I can find some one who know me more than I know myself ^^
and some one who know what I'm thinking although I do not tell anything...(p/s : like this you should just seek for a psychic la =.=)
I know it will be the biggest regret in my life if I don't go for it...
I've put a lot effort in it just to strieve for it ...
Those who went for the aptitude test of NUS will know how's I feel.
Initially, I also doubted myself... can I handle it??
but i asked myself.... If I don't have the potential or ability, will NUS give me the offer???
and I get the answer... I can make it ~ I can do it !!!
I really feel so hard to let it go... It's so hard and painful to let go things you like~you and I will know how it feel...hate that feel !!! Awful @.@
YOU!!! ask me to let go because you are not the one who is going to undergo the painful path
I cant manage to persuade them... I've failed... LOSER
I know I wont get the chance back in future if I don't grab it now.
may be my mum is she said, I shouldn't have applied for it since the beginning.
now??? Just torturing myself
Is it my dream just a DREAM ???
will be vanished once I wake up